According to the Center for Disease Control’s National Vital Statistics
Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of
remarriages end in divorce.
But, the Center for Disease Control also found that 96% of Americans express a personal desire for marriage, and almost three-quarters of Americans believe marriage is a life long commitment.
I imagine that there are somewhat similar statistics worldwide.
With these kinds of statistics, its easy to see how complex it can be when
people think they want a divorce, they have difficulty identifying how a
truly viable divorce reason might be defined. Wanting happiness through
marriage and wrestling with what may seem an inevitable outcome (divorce), can be emotionally and mentally
challenging.
After all, it is human nature to want to feel nurtured and secure, no matter
where you live!
So, if you’re thinking about getting a divorce, what are truly viable reasons
for actually getting a divorce?
Each government has different laws defining the difference
between ‘fault’ and ‘no-fault’ divorce reasons that have enough merit that
allow for the divorce to be granted.
While it makes sense for you to keep this in mind when deciding whether or not to get a divorce because there may be financial considerations to think
of, you should first focus on defining your own emotional or “personal”
divorce reasons, regardless of what the local governing body says.
If you ask 100 people how they define viable reasons for wanting a divorce,
you’ll most likely get 100 different answers because they’ll answer you
from their perspective, not yours.
Sure, there may be similarities to the way you feel in some of those answers
about ‘real’ divorce reasons, you may even agree with some. But, the real
answers to this question can only come from you. You have to figure out what reason or reasons would be viable in your mind in order to actually go
through your decision about getting a divorce or staying married.
Some reasons that people give for getting a divorce, or wanting a
divorce, are purely selfish and have no substance. An example of a reason
for wanting a divorce that has no substance is not liking the fact that
your spouse has constant unfounded jealousy. There is a deeper problem
that exists here, and in the case of this example, it could be that the
spouse who constantly feels jealousy has a confidence problem or some sort
of ‘fear of loss’. Whatever the case, the divorce reason in this example
clearly isn’t viable and should relatively easy to fix.
Often times when people give ‘surface’ or flimsy reasons for wanting a
divorce, they really have much deeper feelings about something and they’re
just using the shallow divorce reason as an avoidance of some kind. Or, they
give these ‘foundation-less’ reasons for wanting a divorce because they
actually aren’t aware that there are other deeper rooted reasons that are
the cause of the way they feel now.
Common reasons that cause people to think about or want to get a divorce:
*Couple has conflicting personal
beliefs
*Couple’s marital satisfaction
decreases
*Desertion
*Adultery
*Cruel treatment
*Bigamy
*Imprisonment
*Spousal Indignities
*Institutionalization
*Irretrievable Breakdown of some kind
Of course, you should add your own reasons to the list for wanting a divorce, better yet, make your own list. Solid divorce reasons for wanting or going through a divorce usually come from some sort of
occurrence, behavioral pattern, and/or change in the viewpoint of the
marriage itself.
In order to really make a smart decision, you should first list the
reasons that you have for wanting a divorce, then examine those divorce
reasons for true viability. Then come back to it that list in a day or so.
Chances are you will be able to scratch a few of those reasons for
wanting a divorce off the list because they were identified purely from an
emotional viewpoint rather than logic.
If you are thinking about getting a divorce, and haven’t clearly identified what reasons you have for feeling the way you do, you’ll be doing yourself a ‘dis-service’ if you act without carefully examining the viability each designated divorce reason. Everyone has their own reasons for wanting a divorce, make sure that you are certain that your reasons are
truthfully viable to you before you act on them.
For more info and articles on Divorce visit:
http://www.bruisedonion.com/guide/divorce/